And then Everything Started

When you go through challenging times, a lot of things come to light. It’s in that light that you finally see the truth. I saw who my real true “ride or die” friends were. I saw that my family could survive without me being there 24/7 and that they could in fact support me when I let them. I saw that I really wasn’t as valuable to my employers as I had once thought. It was all so clear to me, so how did I ignore it all for so long? The past was the past, and now I was looking brightly towards the future. I focused on healing my body and my mind. I made clear goals for the new year that was quickly approaching. I was ready for everything to start again.

Do you ever think about the things that you want out of life all at once? I do it all the time. In fact I could never focus on prioritizing the things that were most important to me. So I decided to pick 2 goals that I wanted to achieve in the new year. I wrote them in large print and hung them on the wall of my bedroom. I saw those goals every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep. The first goal, which may be obvious to you after reading my last story, was my health. I needed to focus on getting a healthy mind, body, and soul. In order to do that my day to day had to change. No more burning the candle at both ends. My second goal was to find a new job. I had been at my current employer for almost 9 years. It had become a part of who I was. But it wasn’t who I was. I had been unhappy for a while, but like many people I just stayed with the familiar. However, I learned everyone has a limit. Trust me, you will know when you hit it. I had hit mine, big time. Every day I continued to look at the goals I had hung on my wall and everyday I worked at achieving them. I began a personal development crusade. I read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, and learned as much as I could. I stopped limiting myself by thinking I wasn’t good enough or experienced enough to apply to certain jobs. Frankly, I just went for it. 2020 came and finally after all of my hard work, the calls and emails came too. I was actually getting responses to all of those resumes and job applications that I had once feared sending. It was all starting.

I kept all of my options open, but I definitely had my top choices. I was a nervous wreck. Remember I hadn’t done this in almost 9 years and a lot had changed. There were phone interviews, prompted video interviews, and eventually the in person interviews. Finally, one Friday in February I got the news that they wanted me, my top choice. This was the first time I didn’t rely on any referrals or commendations. I knew no one that worked there. I did it all on my own and I was so proud of myself. When I put in my two weeks notice and told my co workers I was leaving, some of the women I worked with said I was a inspiration. Who me? Yes me! The truth was that none of it was easy. I was in a constant state of anxiety the entire time, even after being offered the job. CHANGE IS HARD, especially when you have gotten comfortable. You have to gather up that courage and do it anyways.

Such a feel good story after my last blog right? But life is a fickle funny thing. It’s kind of like you’ve already read the book, and now your watching the movie and waiting to see how it all plays out….but you know what’s coming. I started my new job at the beginning of March 2020. I was nervous, thankful, optimistic, and most of all eager. After my first week, my friends and co workers from my old job threw me a wonderful party to celebrate my new venture. We ate, and drank, and hugged. I can still see it so vividly in my mind. Then as quickly as everything had started, it all stopped. But this time the whole world stopped.

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